My Answers

After spending months involved in dialog with my inner-self, I did not find my Faith. I was lost, struck with infectious Doubt on almost every moral issue. Then came a phase where things started to get clear. During my search for Faith, a series of incidents happened that gradually faded out the strangled thoughts in my mind.

First, I serendipitously bumped into a triad by Persian Sufi Rumi, which goes as-

Why should I seek? I am the same as

He. His essence speaks through me.

I have been looking for myself

The thought is simple, but it came to me with a new perspective altogether.

Second, words by a friend who said:

"whether there is a god or not, religions are there and will be there"

Third, Bullesh Shah's poetry. There is no single poem that i can pick. What transformed me was the passion that Bulleh expresses with his words for the loved one. There are no limits of society in his eccentric way of expression. Sometimes he belittles God when comparing with beloved Ranjha and sometimes he suggests to denounce kabba/kibla over the loved one. Sometimes he assumes himself as a kamli/kanjri and sometimes speaks like a dervish. He never took any side, he did not create his own "Bulleh-ism" to satisfy his egoist intentions. He just shared with us his pious Faith - Love is God.

Fourth, a movie named Doubt(2008). It simplified my thoughts to a great extent. The film revolves around a Nun who has a strong Faith in God. She feels injustice done to a boy in her school, she fought it bravely against all odds, against the head Priest. But even after winning the tussle, she is unhappy. She is struck with Doubt. Doubt that world is not run by the principles which are deeply imbibed in her. In essence, I perceived that Faith and Doubt are the two extremes of a line. More closer one is to Faith, more he is content and thus happy.

and Last, a thought by a random guy, Marco Paladini:

“Whether God exists or not, it has no influence on our lives. Whether we believe in God or not, that’s what does influence our lives”

Finally, I sense that My Answers are not the "answers". They are merely a food for my horse like conscience, that can help it go a little ahead for few months or years. I Doubt, It will be hungry again, soon .... . .