My Last post

Feb 08

This is perhaps my last post under this blog. Past 20 months has been the time that brought biggest changes in my personality. I have learned so much from the people around me that no school or university could have possibly taught me.
To learn from the life, you need to live a life. That is what I did.

I do regret that there has been some unfinished desires that I wished I would have exercised. For about three years, an idea has been creeping in mind, of going into the unknown world, without any means of security, money, cell phone, just all alone. See people, talk to them leisurely, make momentarily friends, share thoughts. Just me, no companion, no baggage, no fear, nothing. I wish I could experience the nakedness that a baby experience just after birth. No fear of judgement, no expectations, no insecurities. I want to tell people about myself, listen to their lives - anecdotes, pains, mundane things. Connecting at the very, very basic level.

I think I have forgotten the meaning of being alive. When a baby is born, he experience pain, hunger, suffocation, And then relief. The relief is what makes the life worth living. I don't remember when was the last time I had to suppress my hunger or thirst for more than 1 hour. I don't remember when I toiled in sun selflessly for anyone unknown. I don't remember last time when I had laughed carelessly, without getting self-conscious.

Another thing I really want to do is to go to a Farm and make a living of my own as a framer. Performing, perhaps the oldest job known to human kind. Away from knocking of metals coming from the industrial objects. Away from complicated, demeaning, logic driven businesses. Away from a society who relentlessly torture nature for their own illusive comforts.
I wish I could contribute to something that is the basic requirement for sustaining life.